I'm a very-long-time fan of the Remington noiseless, yet I must admit there is a grain of truth in your cruel ditty.
Oh, Richard, I'm truly sorry! I had forgotten that a noiseless 7 was your first typer! I will make it up to you in a future faux haiku.
Using a Noiseless is fun. Slushy fun.
And I have to admit I own several of them and would not give them up for the world ... well ... almost the world.